Finding Wholeness
Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.
— Parker Palmer
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One of the most sought-after feelings in our life is wholeness. We don't like to feel fragmented and pulled apart. We don't like to feel a piece of us is missing, or that we left part of ourselves behind, perhaps due to a traumatic life event or injury.
Yet these things happen. How can we respond to them and get back to wholeness?
Many people have told me over the years that Feldenkrais is a kind of coming home. I get it: the inner sensory world can be forgotten for many years. It's not that the Feldenkrais Method does this, it's the framework of nonjudgmental sensing, finding out what we know about ourselves and honoring it, whatever it is.
Self-perception is littered with misplaced ideas and stories about what our life should look like. I like Feldenkrais because it takes me out of all the unconscious ideas I might be holding onto about my life. it lets me sense my life in all its messiness.
More than any "ideas" I might have about myself, identifying sensations offers compassion for the truth of my experience. Wholeness for me is linked to feeling integrated, a kind of restful knowing and allowing life in. When I feel whole, I'm less distracted. I feel fluid, attentive, present, and aligned, in the sense that my breath is easy, my belly is resting, and my jaw is not clenched.
Belly, breath, and jaw are three areas that indicate something is amiss in my life when they're not fluid. In fact, this last couple weeks I was experiencing jaw tension after years of pain-free jaw movement. What is that about? I knew elements of my life needed to change or it would be a slippery slope to stress, dysfunction, and possible severe health issues.
Within a week I got support from close friends and changed direction in a way that will alleviate this stress. It's not worth it to let pain, stress, tension, or dysfunction hold me hostage.
If any part of your life creates holding, tension, or stress, take a look at it. Once that stress gets a good grip on you, it's more of a challenge to let it go. It's always possible, but turning the ship around can take a year or two, just like creating healthy eating habits or healthy relationships.
Isn't your whole, healthy, joyful life worth it?
To start, do this audio lesson for a strong back You'll feel more upright, sitting will be easier, and you'll have great posture.
Free audio: Drumming the knees for a strong back
This lesson accesses the strong muscles of the back. Use it for effortless upright sitting and easy swinging of the legs from the back when walking or hiking.
As with all Feldenkrais lessons, practice attending to yourself in a kind, meditative, spacious way.
Also notice the way you feel before and after the lessons. Has something woken up in how you sense your inner world?
The philosopher Martha Nussbaum frames the remedy for incompleteness this way:
"What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings."
“The old man smiled. 'I shall not die of a cold, my son. I shall die of having lived.”
― Willa Cather, Death Comes for the Archbishop
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.”
― Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden
“Often it isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the little pebble in your shoe.”
― Muhammad Ali