More on ruthless self-inquiry
When I first heard this phrase over twenty-five years ago, it gave me hope that I could shift out of my compulsive, painful habits if only I were ruthless enough with my attention. I am a tenacious learner, so I applied myself to this process with full force.
I had to learn, slowly, that shifting my habits required more nuance and rewiring of my attitude than my learning style could handle at age 25. So for me, it took time to acquire the wisdom to change my angle of approach to one of spaciousness and non-judgmental awareness.
Feldenkrais is not an easy or a quick fix for lifelong habits. Sometimes it is not even very fun to look nakedly at the mirror of our unconscious habits.
But it is transformative.
Self-awareness requires vulnerability: to embrace the places in yourself you wish would go away, to listen with compassion rather than struggle with force.
Vulnerability is not submitting or even accepting. It's being willing to release the old sense of self so that you wibble-wobble for a while and then find solid ground again. (Moshe Feldenkrais never advocated easy relaxation. He taught being vital and potent.)
Releasing old ideas and old ways of moving are like releasing an old self and stepping into the void, which appears empty, but is, in fact, full.
Charles Du Bos wrote, “The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.”